Is Dating Dead? What Burned-Out Singles Are Experiencing

As the year comes to a close, I began reflecting. I looked at my health—check. Then my relationships—check. And finally, my business—and that’s where I noticed a change.

During the COVID pandemic my clientele shifted. High-paying professionals such as neurologists, estate lawyers, engineers, and radiologists became teachers, social workers, and nurses. Then came 2024. My clients suddenly included executives, entrepreneurs, tech professionals, celebrities, and professionals over 40.

It made me wonder: what happened to my other clients—specifically the nurses, teachers, and social workers?

During the COVID pandemic I offered far more free webinars and workshops. People were locked down and locked in and I wanted to connect with women and men who could benefit from my services.

My mailing list grew, and my paying clients included individuals looking for online dating help and those open to group coaching. Since 2024, however, those clients have largely disappeared.

As I reflected on my coaching business I began researching; where they had all gone?

It appears that a great number of individuals are no longer interested in dating—as if dating is dead.  Some are simply burned-out singles, sick and tired of the dating game. Others no longer see common ground between the sexes.

I looked into the “4B movement,” which started in South Korea in the mid-to-late 2010’s. It has since reached the U.S. and grown into an international movement of women who have taken a radical feminist response to pervasive misogyny, sexism, and gender inequality.

The movement centers on women rejecting:

• Marriage (Bihon)
• Childbirth (Bichulsan)
• Dating (Biyeonae)
• Sex (Bisekseu) with men

In the U.S., incels are considered part of a larger web of ideologies, groups, and media sometimes described as the “manosphere.” This includes pick-up artists, so-called men’s rights activists, “alpha male” influencers and more.  Incel groups and the manosphere in general attract predominantly young males searching for meaning and community.

Professor Scott Galloway has spoken about this trend extensively, stating that young men are in crisis. They are failing on key metrics such as education, mental health (including higher suicide and addiction rates) and relationships.  This is largely due to a lack of positive male role models and major societal shifts like technology and a winner-take-all economy.

He advocates for mentorship, emotional resilience, vulnerability, discipline and calls on older men to step up, famously stating: “If we want better men, we have to be better men.”

Is dating actually dead, or is it simply a difference of opinion and an inability to connect?

Vogue released an article asking, “Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?” The feedback from single women went viral. What most women weren’t admitting was that having a boyfriend wasn’t embarrassing—it was the inability to connect with men they deemed viable.

“Women aren’t necessarily ‘not dating,’ but many are slowing down or ‘quiet quitting’ dating due to prioritizing self-growth, career, and financial independence, coupled with exhaustion from modern dating apps and a desire for more equitable partnerships that meet higher standards…”

Women are looking for men with conservative values but liberal ideas.

Conservative as in:

• Faithful
• Marriage-minded
• Hardworking
• Family-oriented
• Stable and somewhat traditional

At the same time, they want men with a liberal mindset that supports:

• Individual rights and autonomy
• Equality
• Social justice

The challenge heading into 2025 is that there is now a hard line between conservative men and liberal men. This ideological divide often stems from men’s anger and resentment—frequently misplaced anger toward women who have rejected them, sometimes publicly, labeling men as “dusties,” losers, or unworthy.

For women who still want partnership—but not chaos—this often means being more intentional about where and how they date. Platforms that prioritize values, long-term compatibility, and commitment over endless swiping tend to attract men who are clearer about what they want.

• eHarmony – for women or men looking for long-term compatibility, commitment, and shared values

• Christian Dating – for women who value faith, structure, and marriage-minded relationships

Women today are able to take care of themselves in ways that make dating feel optional. Many no longer feel it’s worth dating a man who cannot offer the same—or better—quality of life.

This makes men feel like ATMs rather than boyfriends. Men, in turn, refer to women as “gold diggers,” or place rigid appearance-based requirements on women to be deemed worthy of being cared for.

As a result, women opt out. Men opt out. Dating appears dead.

A loving, healthy relationship is comprised of six Cs:

• Conduct
• Compromise
• Communication
• Commitment
• Compatibility
• Consideration

None of these seem to be working on either side. There is little discussion, little compromise, and limited willingness to do the work. There is a lack of consideration and conduct across the board.

I realized the shift isn’t just about the missing 6 Cs—it’s also about economics.

Many men are not making enough money to date. Many women will not date a man who can only offer a cup of coffee or who lives at home with his parents.

Women’s increased financial independence has changed relationship dynamics. It allows women more freedom to leave unsatisfactory situations. It contributes to higher divorce rates when women earn significantly more.  This all generates shifts in traditional gender roles that challenge both partners in affected relationships.

Some women view these decisions as self-sufficiency—not rejection of the opposite sex.

I don’t think dating is dead.  I believe it’s “on hold.”  The primary drivers of that pause are women.

Given the current political climate—where women’s rights are under threat and expectations to work, raise children, maintain households and conform to traditional values persist—women are asking for more.

Many women are saying: If you want a traditional wife—to have your children, cook, clean, and caretake—then you need to earn enough for me to maintain the life I had when I was single.

Some women are opting out entirely, choosing to mortgage homes with female friends instead of marrying.

Dating has shifted from love toward something resembling a business contract—something some argue marriage was always intended to be.

Some women even reject marrying for love, believing it leads to poverty and stress.

My clientele still includes high-earning professionals. For them, finding a match is harder due to long work hours, limited mobility, long-distance challenges and age-related family planning constraints. Marriage, for many, feels more like a strategic decision than a romantic one.

Some newer clients want me to vet prospects so they can go straight to the altar without “wasting time” dating. Dating has become a luxury—a commodity to be traded.

Dating today isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about timing, values, economics, and emotional readiness. If you’re feeling stuck, burned out, or unsure how to move forward without settling or opting out completely, you don’t have to figure it out alone.  

I offer private Discovery Sessions for women who want clarity, direction and a realistic approach to modern relationships.  These sessions are not about fixing you – they’re about  helping you make informed, aligned choices.

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