If you’re looking for love from a tall, dark and handsome man, you will never find him. If you’re looking for love from a tall, buxom brunette, you will never find her. Only when you stop trying to date your type, will you find love.
Dating Your Type
A dating type is a person that exemplifies the ideal or defining physical characteristics that you want. Take for instance: After a single woman named Dawn was matched up with a blind date that was kind, funny, generous and compassionate — all the things she was looking for — she decided not to go out with him for a second date because he was shorter and a bit heavier than she wanted. Dawn, therefore is not looking for her match, she is looking for her type.
Another example comes from a story about a guy named Eddie. All his life he wanted to meet an independent woman with no kids, and that loved to travel as much as he did. After a friend matched Eddie up with a woman named Susan they really hit it off. He asked her out for a second and then a third date. However, he cancelled the third date, and disappeared, and never returned any of Susan’s calls. Why? Although Susan was attractive, successful and fun, Eddie was not attracted to her because he was looking for a woman that was thin, large breasted and blond. Eddie was not looking for his match, he was looking for his type.
Why You Need to Stop Trying To Date Your Type
When most people seek a dating or relationship prospect they are actually seeking their preference i.e., their physical type. If you were to look at a person’s dating track record you can usually see a pattern. Sometimes the pattern is obvious, such as hair color — blonds or brunette’s. Sometimes it is not as clear-cut, however overt nonetheless, for instance she only dates Libra’s while he only dates Sagittarius’s. Regardless if the relationship ended on a good or bad note, it is probably a good idea to assess what your past relationships had in common so that you can avoid and stop trying to date your type.
Falling For Someone Not Your Type
A popular narrative is that more and more people are single because they cannot seem to meet their match. People have also become accustom to blaming online dating and Facebook for their dating and relationship misfortunes. However the reason you might NOT be meeting your ideal match has more to do with your dating type than true compatibility. My best guess, is if you were to stop dating your type, you would find someone you truly connect with.
Does this mean you have to lower your standards? Or that you will have to date someone you are not attracted to? Absolutely no! Because attraction has very little to do with the a person’s physical type and more to do with the chore characteristics and values of a person. Think of it this way: Over time looks fade; so does your finances, your health and your outlook on life. The relationships that last, and not just because of time, but genuine happiness, they do so because they have something deeper than what is on the surface. A husband that divorces his wife because she gained weight or a woman that leaves her husband because he lost his job, was not into the person, but settled on a type. Therefore, when you go after a person for the qualities and values they possess, you are not settling you are upgrading.
So, what to do? The first thing you can do is stop trying to date your type. The next thing you can do is to look beyond the surface; go deeper. Meaning, whether you are using online dating platforms, dating apps or social media to find a mate, start to ask questions that allows you to learn more about the persons you’re attracted to. By doing this, you not only increase your chances of meeting someone you really connect with, you also weed out the wrong matches. That’s it for now, for more ways to meet eligible matches, click on the video below.