One of the most important ingredients for a successful relationship is having something in common with your partner. It may not seem important in the very beginning when you’re still in that afterglow of lust. However, as things start to cool down you’ll begin to see the importance of commonality in a relationship.
Everything is beautiful and wonderful with your new love at that point. However, as things start to cool down just a bit, you’ll begin to see just how important having things in common with someone is.
How Important Is Commonality In A Relationship?
Consider that you’re someone who loves mystery and scary movies. You love a great psychological suspense plot as well as supernatural ones. But, what if your partner prefers to watch action movies where there are heists gone wrong? Perhaps he doesn’t care WHAT the movie is actually ABOUT, so long as something gets blown up and there is plenty of fighting and bloodshed. In this case neither of you will be able to tolerate the other person’s movie preference. What will eventually happen is you will end up going to see movies separately or watching them in different rooms of your home. That is not really quality time, is it?
Suppose one of you loves to read and discuss the books that you’ve read? As you try to talk to your partner about your latest read he is nodding and, his eyes are glazing over.
What if he loves to go camping in the wild? However, your idea of camping is to stay at a rustic mountain cabin with all of the amenities. You may like to go hiking or biking but he loves an afternoon of skydiving. Clearly, there are some vast differences in this area of your relationship.
Can It Work If You Have Nothing In Common?
There have been rare occasions when a relationship has made it successfully even though the two people involved had absolutely nothing in common. However, that doesn’t happen often. For the majority of couples, having at least a couple of big interests in common can make the relationship work.
Sometimes a physical attraction is the reason two people are together. But, what will they do when they find they have nothing of interest to talk about? That is why one of the first things you need to do when meeting someone new is get into a conversation about what each of you enjoys. See if there is something in common.
If he is into mountain climbing and you’re terrified of heights, simply find a polite way of disengaging yourself from this person so not to waste each other’s time.
What to Do If There Is No Commonality Between You?
It is not rude to move on if you find there is no commonality. In fact you’d actually be doing both of you a huge favor. Otherwise, if you continue the to date someone you have nothing in common, the attraction may keep growing and you’ll find yourself involved in a relationship that has little to no chance of working out. Instead, learn how to date consciously, and continue to look for someone with interests that match your own. You’ll be much happier in the end.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the importance of commonality in a relationship. Have you dated someone or been in a relationship with someone you shared nothing in common? If so, what did you do to resolve this. Lastly, I’d love to stay in touch so here’s the link to sign up for my monthly newsletter which includes: upcoming events, discounts on products and services, fun polls, advice, giveaways and more.
