The Power of Forgiveness
Over the past few weeks the power of forgiveness has been a hot topic of discussion in churches, social platforms and dinner tables across the globe.
Since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I wanted to talk about the power of forgiveness and how the forgiveness process can help you heal from abuse or painful past relationships.
Why Forgiveness Is So Powerful
There is power in forgiveness. Forgiveness has the power to heal, and the power to free you. When you hold onto a negative thought or past experience, it is like drinking poison expecting someone else to die from it.
Forgiveness is not about giving up your power and control or giving a pass to people that hurt you. The power of forgiveness is your ability to reclaim your autonomy over your own feelings. When you forgive you have control over your perception of the events.
For instance, when it comes to using the power of forgiveness to heal from an abusive relationship you’re not declaring that the abuse was okay, or that it was your fault. The abuser is responsible for his or her actions and thus will have to deal with the ramifications of their own actions. However, through the power of forgiveness you are no longer allowing your abuser authority over your heart and mind.
Do I Have to Forgive People That Hurt Me?
Forgiving someone that hurt you is a choice. You either choose to forgive or you don’t. However, if you are holding onto pain, anger, or resentment against someone that has hurt you, ask yourself, how does holding onto that pain make you feel?
Many people believe that holding onto a grudge helps them avoid future upsets and that somehow being reminded of the pain protects them from getting hurt again. But, the fact is when you don’t forgive you block your blessings and obstruct your view of reality.
Furthermore, if your view of the world is shaped by your past painful experiences, you will create more painful experiences in your future. Why? Because whatever we focus our attention on, we create more of.
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The Forgiveness Process
You should only do the Forgiveness Process if you’re truly ready to release and let go of your past painful experiences.
Going through the process of forgiving is not about tricking your mind to forget the bad experience. Rather the forgiveness process teaches you how to practice the art of forgiving so that you can free yourself from anything and anyone that does not serve you.
You have every right to feel anger towards someone who has slighted or hurt you However, it does not serve you to enslave yourself or others to the experience. The past is the past! You grow through what you go through. And, stagnation will only keeps you doing the same things and, therefore having the same results.
Through the power of forgiveness you get to live and love in the moment. You don’t forget the experience, you release it and let it go. In this manner you can still be discerning, but without imposing your fears and traumas onto your future self or others.
How Do I Learn How to Forgive?
Most of the clients that come to see me have a story about why they cannot create or sustain a meaningful happy healthy relationship. And, in most cases, the root cause of their issues stem from some painful past memory or experience.
For this reason I created a workbook called The Forgiveness Process, which you can purchase here on Amazon. The workbook is designed to teach you why you forgiveness is so important, how to forgive, and how to bring more gratitude and happiness into your life once you have released and let go of the pain.
Doing the forgiveness process does not replace coaching or therapy. The forgiveness process is a useful tool, to help you free yourself from past pain and suffering.
“Life may be challenging; dating and relationships don’t have to be.”
Collette Gee
