The Best Ways to End A Relationship With Someone That Won’t Let Go

The best ways to end a relationship with someone that won’t let go is painful, yet practical.  You may be ready to move on, and not necessarily with someone else.  Unfortunately, sometimes the person you are trying to break up with is not ready to move on.

In the next few paragraphs I am going to share the best ways to end a relationship.  While the suggestions I listed are not the most direct approach, nor necessarily the kindest, they are the most practical approaches to ending a relationship with someone that won’t let go.

The bottom line is if (for whatever reason) you are no longer happy with the partner, or you are not getting what you need and require in the relationship, then it may be time to move on. Obviously, if there is physical, emotional, verbal or mental abuse then that is also a reason to end a relationship.  Yet, many people even in those extreme situations have great difficulty breaking up safely.  Breakups are difficult because relationships (healthy or unhealthy) are, in essence, investments. People, (both the initiator and the receiver) do not like to “lose on their investment.”

Original Ideas to End A Relationship

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Help them achieve a goal

1. Like the song says, “Breaking Up is Hard to Do,” so sometimes the easiest way to help someone move on when you want to end the relationship is to help them achieve a lifetime goal or dream immediately before severing the relationship. One woman I know helped a man find his dream job in another state.  Then, she helped him find a new place to live in the new state.  She even helped him pack his things and then helped unpack and settle in.  Then she ended the relationship.  This may sound manipulative or extreme, but when someone you have been trying to end the relationship with just won’t “get it,” it may take extreme measures.  Of course, expect that there will be resentment from the person being “dumped.”  Of course, breakups are painful and not easy.  Ideally, the person breaking up can sensitively explain their reasons and what boundaries they expect moving forward, and those wishes will be respected.  But, unfortunately, this does not always happen.  (This is why I have a lot of work! 😃)

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Do it over video chat

2. Another “modern” way to break up with someone is over Zoom.  The advantages are that you have control over how long you’re online, the location and the safety measures.  Yet, you’re still giving them the respect of a virtual “face-face” discussion, which is more respectful than a “Dear John/Jane Letter,” text or email, which can be extremely impersonal and abrupt.  Yet, nowadays that is far too common.

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Speak their love language

3. When breaking up with an emotionally immature, or egocentric person keep in mind the need to adapt the message to the capacity of the receiver.  For example, learn how to speak their language i.e., how they communicate.  Are they oral, visual, kinesthetic learners, etc.. ?  And speak in terms they understand.  For instance, if you’re trying to break up with a man into sports you can use sport analogies, or come up with “a playbook” to end the relationship.

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Keep it short and sweet

4. When breaking up with an emotionally immature person share the minimum facts as to why you are breaking up with this person, but don’t get too deep into the feelings and emotions so as to avoid misunderstandings, emotional outbursts, or even violence.  Share information on an “as needed basis,” realizing the limitations of whom you are addressing.  Keep it respectful, short and sweet.

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Ask a friend

5. Ask a friend to break up for you, and or hire someone to breakup with the person on your behalf.  This minimizes conflict with the person you are breaking up with, miscommunication and so forth. Although this would seem cruel and unusual, after all you have been with this person.  They would definitely get the message.  While this is not ideal by any means, some people are so terrified of letting their former partner down or hurting their feelings, it is sometimes used as an option.

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Write a letter

6. As odd as it sounds, you can send flowers along with a Dear John letter, text or email.  In the letter tell them how fond you were of them, the memories that were good and how the gift is to say thank you for sharing their time, but that you are longer interested in continuing the journey with them.  Like relationships, flowers are beautiful . . . for a time. Yet, they have a “Shelf-life” and so did this relationship.  The initiator of the breakup, in essence can use the flowers as a gift to honor what has been.

Share Your Breakup Experience

Ending a relationship can be difficult.  In fact, most people would prefer to avoid the breakup, which is why so many people stay in unhappy unfulfilled relationships.  If you have initiated a breakup or been on the receiving end of a breakup I would love to hear from you about your breakup experiences.  Tell me did any of my breakup tips resonate with you?  Also, what is the hardest breakup you went through?  Please share your experiences by emailing me at info@findinghappily.com.