Trying to Find A Relationship Coach? Look Carefully!
I read a post on Instagram that stated, “If a woman has to ask if she is in a healthy relationship, she probably is not.” Now, as a relationship coach I read all kinds of things about love online. However, when I read this I was shocked, and I couldn’t disagree more with the message. So, I wrote a response to the post stating why I disagreed. Here’s what I had to say:
“My belief is that some people ask questions to check in, while some ask questions to learn something new. Everyone is not taught about healthy relationships.
Therefore, some people may not fully appreciate what the difference between a healthy or unhealthy relationship is until someone educates them. Some people might also be going through ups and downs in their relationships and not know how to resolve a particular issue.
This does not mean their relationship is unhealthy. By asking they may be seeking solutions to resolve or reduce conflict or misunderstandings in their relationships.”
Not All Relationship Coaches Are Professionals
After I shared my response, the author of the post — a “dating coach,” retracted what she posted. She stated that somehow she thought her post would trigger a discussion, (which it did.) However, as a Healthy Relationship Specialist, I personally would not put things on my social media that would trigger people seeking my help. That’s just me!
So, my suggestion is to you is please, please, please stop listening to or taking bad dating and relationship advice from people that claim to be dating or relationship experts or coaches. Because, when it comes to relationships there is no cookie-cutter format; love is unique to what we feel and think as individuals.
The next time someone tells you that someone should do this or behave in said kind of way because they love you — RUN! This individual may have your best interests at heart. However their advice could cause you more heartache than do you any good.
What Is A Relationship Coach?
Relationship Coaches are trained to illicit the right questions to help their clients figure out what’s keeping them from achieving their goals. They work with women or men that are single and looking to get into a meaningful relationship, get over a breakup or couples looking to improve some area of their relationship.
They also provide their clients with tools, resources, techniques and useful advice that will help them deal with whatever is keeping them stuck. However, coaches do not have all the answers, i.e., they cannot tell you the reason someone you loved cheated on you or why someone you like is not attracted to you. However, through Discovery Sessions , coaching programs and services, coaches can provide insight, tools and resources to help their clients get the results they seek.
A Deeper Look At Relationship Coaches
Take for instance a personal trainer or fitness coach. Fitness coaches help people with their fitness goals. They provide tools and resources that will help their clients achieve the body or lifestyle they want.
Dating & relationship coaches are no different, only their focus is on your romantic, intimate, personal and family life. The benefits of coaching may spill over to other areas of a person’s life in order to achieve said goal. However, the focus is always on the end result you seek.
How to Find A Relationship Coach: 4 Things to Look For
There is a great deal of dating and relationships advice out there. Some of it good, some of it bad . However, if you are looking to find a relationship coach (or in some cases a matchmaker) here are a few questions you should ask:
- Is your relationship coach in a happy healthy relationship?
- Has your relationship coach ever been married or are they working towards a marriage or a committed relationship?
- Does your relationship coach have the proper training or certifications?
- Is your relationship coach applying the life strategies, tools and resources they teach others to their own life?
If they answered check yes to all of these boxes, it’s safe to say that your coach can help you.
Relationship Coaches Are Not Magicians
Dating and relationship coaches are not magicians. The results their clients receive is directly correlated with the clients willingness and ability to do the work. Such is the case when working with a fitness trainer. If you do not eat properly or you don’t work out, you won’t get the results you seek.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Tell me, have you ever worked with a dating or relationship coach? If, so what was your experience.
#relationshipcoach #datingcoach #therapist
