Don’t expect people to change for you. Change is a personal choice and either people want to change or they do not. That’s not to say you have to put up with unwanted behaviors. Instead, if you don’t like something someone you love is doing try a different approach. Ultimately, however you cannot make people change unless they want to.
Things You Can Do:
The first thing you can do if someone you care about is doing something you do not like is let them know how you feel about it? When sharing, focus only on the unwanted behavior; do not attack the person. You do not want the person you care about to feel isolated, judged or unloved by your critique.
The next thing you can do is address the behavior as soon as you notice it, not before, not after. If you wait days or weeks mention the unwanted behavior the person may become offended and angry. So, instead, the moment you see or hear something you don’t like, say something.
The last thing you can do after you have shared your concerns is set personal boundaries, and then give the person ample time and opportunities to work on the unwanted behavior. If they continue doing the same thing the only thing left to do is decide whether you are willing to put up and shut up or leave the relationship.
Change is a personal choice
These are a few things you can do to address an unwanted behavior in your relationship. Don’t expect people to change for you. Instead address the issues, focus on the behaviors and give yourself a timeline on what you will do if they do not change. The problem most people encounter when they want their loved ones to make changes is incessively complaining about the issues. Complaining makes no sense. And, complaing about the same thing over and over again is the definition of insanity! Since we only have control over ourselves, it makes no sense to try to reason with someone that may not feel compelled to change. Instead, focus on what you have control over. You can either stay and accept things the way they are or leave because what’s going on isn’t working for you.
Hopefully these tips will get you on the path to find your happily. However, if you want more tips or advice join our FREE online community on Facebook or sign up for our 7-Course Relationship Training.
