Stop Complaining In 3 Easy Steps

stop complaining in 3 easy steps

In this article I am going to show you how to stop complaining in 3 easy steps.  Most of my blog post are about dating and relationships.  However, whether you want to learn how to stop complaining at work or stop complaining about everything, you can apply these 3 easy steps.  But, before I show you how to stop complaining in 3 easy steps, first I want to address what happens when you do nothing but complain:

When people are not happy with the way things are going in their lives, particularly in their relationships, they complain.  They complain about what they are not getting or they complain about what they wish they had more of.  In either case, when people are not happy they complain.  The thing about complaining is that it does not change anything.  In fact complaining only makes you and the person or people you are complaining to feel worse.  At first, it might seem like people are listening and being supportive.  And, they might be.  But, after some time, people will begin to pull away because they just cannot take hearing your complaints anymore.  You might have that one good friend that sticks around and listens, trying desperately to help you solve your problems.  But, after some time, even your friend will tire of your complaint, and then move on.

Ready to Stop Complaining In 3 Easy Steps?  Good!

If you are ready to learn how to stop complaining in 3 easy steps here are 3 words you need to remember:  Stop, Listen and Communicate.  Whether these 3 words are used as a complete thought or in a sentence, each word triggers a response or a reaction. For instance, the word stop implies that you pause or cease a particularly activity or action.  The word listen implies that you pay attention or take heed to what you hear.  And, lastly the word communicate, implies that you use your words and actions to convey a message so that others can appreciate what you are saying and vice versa.  So, now let us get into how these 3 words will help you stop complaining in 3 easy steps.

Step 1


The next time you get ready to complain STOP.  In the beginning, this is going to seem hard because you are so used to complaining.  However, the next time you find yourself starting to complain about why you hate the way he leaves the toilet seat up or why she never wants to have sex anymore, do yourself a favor and pause, count to three, then move on to step number two.

Step 2


Step two is to listen, and not to anyone else at first, but to your own voice.  This allows you time to think before you speak.  And, then ask yourself if what you are about to complain about is really all that important.  Now, at first you will think it is, however before you launch into your complaint, proceed to step number three.

Step 3


Step three and the final step is to communicate.  This is the point where you can now share your complaint.  However, by this point two things will have likely happened.  First, once you stopped to think about your complaint you will have killed the complaints momentum.  And second, after you asked yourself whether this complaint was important, you might have decided that it really was not important or you will have found a solution to resolve the issue you are complaining about. Having said that, if after stopping, and listening to your own voice, you still feel the need to complain, do so with the intention of communicating your thoughts, and then stopping and listening to what others have to say about your complaint.

If you do complain too much, it’s likely your friends or family have already told you or you’ve noticed that people seem to spend less time around you.  And, while everyone does complain from time to time, and while you might have some valid reasons to complain about your relationship, the key is to do less complaining and more communicating.  When you complain you are only sharing your issue, not resolving your problem.  And, let’s face it, the purpose of complaining is to solve the issue you’re complaining about right?  So, my advice to you is to stop complaining, listen to your inner voice, and then communicate your issue so that you can resolve it and then move on with your life.

Collette Gee is an International Dating Expert, Relationship Specialist and Author of “Finding Happily, No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.” Collette works with men and women, helping them to create and sustain meaningful romantic relationships. Click Here to Learn More

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