Things You Can Do To Win Your Spouse Back
If you have reason to believe your spouse does not love you anymore, you might be trying to figure out how to save your marriage. However, in a society where 50% of marriages end in divorce you might feel like it’s an uphill battle to save your marriage, particularly when things seem to be falling apart. Whatever issues your marriage has they didn’t occur over night. Therefore, taking the right steps to save your marriage is crucial.
Whether your spouse has told you they are no longer happy in the marriage, or you get the sense that your marriage is in trouble, don’t despair for there is hope. The key is to remain calm, come up with a plan, and follow these simple steps that you can start doing today:
Stop talking about all the problems in your marriage
If your marriage is in trouble the first thing you need to do is stop talking about your marital problems. Stop talking to your friends; stop talking to your family, and most of all stop talking to your spouse about all your problems. It’s easier said than done however, if you don’t stop talking about the problems your marriage has you will never be able to come up with solutions on how to save your marriage. The moment you stop talking about all the things that is wrong with your marriage, you will be able to see all the things that is right in your marriage.
Stop blaming your partner
It’s easy to blame your partner or blame yourself for everything wrong with your marriage. However, when your focus is on blaming there is little room to see the good inside of you or your partner. This isn’t magic or something you don’t know. The thing is, when things are not working out or you’re arguing all the time it’s hard to see the wonderful person you married. Sometimes you have to let go of the pain and the hurt so that love and healing can take it’s place. Again, this is easier said than done. However, if you don’t do this you will never be able to save your marriage.
Forgive and be grateful
Regardless if your marriage has taken a hit because of infidelity, or because an agreement has been broken, the only way to save your marriage is through forgiveness. Forgiveness is the cure for all things because when you forgive you not only free yourself of the pain, you also free others. Forgiving someone that has lied or cheated or betrayed your trust is hard. However, holding onto the pain is even harder. Find a way to release and let go of what’s keeping you and your spouse apart, and instead focus on all the reasons you should be grateful for your relationship.
What If Your Partner Wants Out But You Don’t
Sometimes one person wants to stay in the marriage, but the other person does not. If this is your situation here are a couple of things you can do:
Put your best self forward; attitude goes a long way
When two people get married and make a life together it’s easy to start letting yourself go. This might be in the way you dress, your appearance or your lifestyle. In either case, if you want to save your marriage, even when your spouse does not want to, start doing the things you once loved doing, wear better clothes, and take pride in your appearance.
Even if you’re busy with work, kids, fundraisers etc…, taking a little “me time,” will show your spouse that you care about yourself. When you take pride in yourself it shows the other person that you are cable of caring about them in the same manner. Self-love and self-respect are the most attractive qualities a person can emulate. Therefore, show your spouse all the wonderful things they will lose. Not only will they see you in a better light, but also you will feel better about YOU.
Seek help before it’s too late
If you feel like you’ve reached the point of no return, i.e., your spouse has met someone new, you cheated, he cheated or you’re not getting your point across when you communicate, there is still hope. Sometimes things are just too bad, and even after you’ve tried everything, nothing is working. In this case it’s best to seek professional help before it’s too late!
As a relationship expert I help men and women create and sustain meaningful romantic relationships, therefore you can contact someone like me. Or you can go to your spiritual center, attend a couples retreat or therapy if things are really bad. Whatever course you choose if things are really bad it’s important to act fast before you’re unable to save your marriage.
Is Your Marriage Worth Saving?
Only you can answer this question. However, sometimes you need a reminder of how good or bad things are. The first thing you can do to help sort out whether your marriage is worth saving is make a list. Write down all the pros and cons of being married to your spouse. Next, write down all the reasons you feel in love with your spouse. Lastly, close your eyes and imagine life without your spouse. Are you happy? Now, imagine life with your spouse and visualize what a happy marriage would look like.
The key is to think about all the reasons you should stay married or not stay married. If your marriage is suffering from mental, emotional and or physical abuse, run, don’t walk, but run! This is an unhealthy relationship and there is no reason to try to save your marriage if these are your circumstances. However, if your marriage is going through anything else such as cheating, infidelity, trust or communication issues, there is hope.
To conclude, If you want to save your marriage doing the things on this list will create a shift in you and your spouse. There are several factors that lead to one or both partners wanting to end a marriage. Nonetheless, if you love your spouse and you want to save your marriage, you can do so. However, it will take time, help and commitment to make it work. Even, if you think there is no hope at saving your marriage, trust me there is. For one thing, most marriages don’t end because of a lack of love, but rather a lack of trying.
