How To Let Go Of Past Relationships

Let go of past relationshipsIn order to create a new meaningful romantic relationship, you must be willing to let go of past relationships.  However, for some people, letting go of their past relationships is easier said than done.

However, in order for you to move forward and get the relationship you desire, in this blog post I am going to share some simple techniques to help you let go of past relationships.

3 Ways to Let Go Of Past Relationships

Change Your Perception

The first thing you can do to let go of your past relationships is change your perception.  When you change your perception, you change your experiences, including your past experiences.  For instance: if your past relationship story is that all the men in your life abandoned you, change your perception to one that is self-serving.  So, instead of perceiving that all the men in your life leave, exchange it for: Only the good men stick around.  You can also think of it this way: Not every man that has left you has abandoned you.  Some men leave because they were not able to step up to be the man you needed.

Another thing to keep in mind is when you live under the story that the men in your life always leave you, not only do you project a low self-image and poor self-esteem.  And, let’s face it, the only men that pick up women who have low self-esteems are men that are abusive or womanizers.

The same is applied to men who believe that all women are gold diggers.  If that’s your story, you will only attract women that are all about your money.  Instead change  your perception so that your story is more self-serving.  You can change your story to: Because women are so selective the right woman will choose me for me.

Stay In The Now

The next thing you can do to let go of past relationships is stay in the now.  When you live in the past you trigger those feelings and emotions associated with that experience.  Therefore, if you are holding onto a past love that broke your heart or cheated on you, you are not moving on, but rather reliving the breakup over and over again.  Instead, live in the now.

Living in the now, particularly when you just suffered a breakup or you’ve been cheated on is hard.  For instance, most people either obsess over the future or dig up the past.  If you’re living in the future, you focus most of your attention on your future intentions, such as setting goals, building blocks or milestones.  However, if you’re living in the past, your dwell on things that are less important or not self-limiting.

If you want to live in the now do things to help you be present.  According to author of The Power Of Now, Echart Tolle, living in the now is much easier than you think.   He suggests doing things like being aware of your breathing or washing your hands, whilst smelling the soap and feeling the temperature of the water.  These things help to focus your senses on what is happening in the present state.  Thus, if you are focusing your attention on your past partner, quickly go wash your hands or focus on your breathing.  This will bring you out of your past state into the present also know as, the NOW.

Focus On Your Relationship Goal

In order to create a new and meaningful romantic relationship, it’s important that you focus your intention on your intention.  If your intention is to meet an amazing man you love and who loves you back, focus your attention on all the qualities and attributes that he will possess.  However, if your attention is still on your past relationship, you will intend more of the same.  Instead focus all of your attention on your relationship goals.

A relationship goal can be used for anyone seeking a new relationship or a boost in their current relationship.  In either case, you focus your attention on everything you want, need and require.  This does not mean you will get everything you want need or require ( download the dating & relationship action plan for more details).  However, by focusing on things you want, you shift your focus from the past into the future.  And, during this process it’s important not to focus on what you DO NOT WANT, for instance: Do not talk about how you do not want to be with a cheater.  Instead focus on all the things you do want, by stating only the positives.

To conclude:

It’s okay to think about the past as the past can either teach us or help us remember good times.  However, if your past story is not one that is serving, let it go!  All too often people get stuck in the past as if what happened to them years ago is still happening to them now.  But, the reality is since you cannot change the past, there is no sense in harboring ill will or feelings from the past that hurt you or hurt others.  Instead learn what you can learn from the past, then leave it where it belongs, in the past!

Collette Gee is an International Dating Expert, Relationship Specialist and Author of “Finding Happily, No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.” Collette works with men and women, helping them to create and sustain meaningful romantic relationships. Click Here to Learn More

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2018-10-31T18:56:13+00:00August 20th, 2018|Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Dating|