How to Break Up and Move on From a Relationship

If you want to learn how to break up and move on from a relationship there are a few things you can do to minimize conflict and make the experience as painless as possible.  Keep in mind, no relationship is the same.  Therefore, some of the suggestions provided may or may not work for you and your relationship. 

Never Break Up During a Holiday

The best way to break up and move on from a relationship depends on whether you are the one breaking up or are on the receiving end of a break up.  If you are the person ending the relationship, it’s best to plan your exit strategy.  Timing in these cases is crucial.  For instance:

It’s best not to break up with someone on or before a holiday, birthdays or during some other important or memorable event.  The only case where this does not matter is if you are in an abusive relationship.  In that case, your priority is to end the relationship as quickly as possible and in a safe space.  

Choose A Safe Space

Once you have created an exit strategy choose a quiet, and somewhat private place to end the relationship. Some people prefer to break up in public places so that the soon to be ex-partner does not make a scene.  However, this may not work out in your favor. 

Statistically speaking, most break ups can result in loud outburst and or physical violence.  Therefore, it is best to choose a place that you feel safe ending the relationship.  It is also important that your soon to be ex-partner also feels safe. Therefore, choose the location wisely. 

Be Honest and Direct

After you have chosen the right place and time to end the relationship, begin by being direct, honest and (most importantly) unemotional.  If possible, write out a couple of bullet points as to why the relationship is no longer serving you and why you think it is best to break up and move on.  The most important thing in this part of the process is to make the experience as quick and painless as possible. 

However, keep in mind, a break up is a loss — and losses hurt.  So, do not expect your soon to be ex-partner to take the break up as easy as you do.  Usually, the one doing the breaking up is more emotionally prepared for the break up than the person on the receiving end.  So (if possible) minimize the pain as much as you can and share your specific reasons for ending the relationship. 

How Do You Break up from Someone You Live With? 

In the event you need to break up from someone you live with (but, are not married to) there are different things you will have to consider before you can break up, such as: 

• Which one of you will leave the home?
• Who gets to keep what items?
• Who gets to keep the dog or pet?
• How do you sever financial ties if there were any attached to the lease or mortgage?

Once you have considered all of these things, proceed to break up with the person according to the suggestions above.  Please keep in mind, although a divorce is a break up, breaking up with someone you are married to involves serious legal steps, so you should consult an attorney before ending the marriage.  The same goes for people living together with children, but not married — seek legal advice before ending the relationship.

While breaking up is hard to do, you can break up with someone with minimal conflict by following some of the suggestions listed above.  Not every suggestion may be for you so apply these tips accordingly.

Also, I would love to hear from you regarding your thoughts on how to break up and move on from a relationship.  Have you ever had to break up with someone?  Has someone you cared about broken up with you?  How did you handle either situation?  Please share your thoughts by emailing me at info@findinghappily.com

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