Exploring the 4B Movement: Protecting Ourselves and Finding True Allies

In the aftermath of Trump’s election, many American women are feeling an urgent need to protect themselves—socially, financially, and emotionally. They’re making the choice to embrace the 4B Movement, an initiative originating in South Korea that advocates for women’s independence and prioritizes personal well-being over traditional gender roles. As a Dating & Relationship Coach, this shift saddens me—not because I disagree with their decision, but because so many women feel that this is the only choice they have left.

How did we reach a point where women feel compelled to withdraw from traditional relationships just to feel safe and valued? And what does the 4B Movement truly offer to those who follow its principles?

At its core, the 4B Movement is built on four pillars of rejection:

1. No Marriage – Avoiding the societal expectations that come with marriage.
2. No Childbirth – Opting out of having children to focus on personal growth and freedom.
3. No Dating – Choosing to avoid romantic relationships that may reinforce limiting dynamics.
4. No Sexual Relationships with Men – Refraining from sexual relationships to reclaim autonomy over their bodies.

The principles of the 4B Movement are not as harsh as they may first appear. They remind me of steps every woman should consider to protect herself, avoid unhealthy relationships, and make choices that genuinely serve her well-being. For women who’ve faced abuse or societal pressure, these principles can offer a pathway to freedom, peace, and ultimately, fulfillment.

I understand the importance of this journey on a deeply personal level. Years ago, I left an abusive marriage—a painful journey that left me feeling vulnerable and disillusioned. When I met my current husband, however, I found a different type of man. He was not only loving but genuinely invested in supporting women. We met while volunteering at a nonprofit dedicated to providing education and support to women and children facing violence.

I never had to teach him about women’s rights or ask him to respect my autonomy. He’d already done the work, advocated for women’s safety, and practiced these principles in his own life. Looking back, I realize I was living by many of the principles of the 4B Movement until I met someone who was a true ally, someone whose values aligned with mine. And when I did, it was clear he was worth my time and trust.

In the coming years, as we face political challenges that affect women’s rights, I believe many women will need to adopt some of these principles—not as a rejection of men but as a means of survival and self-respect. The 4B Movement, along with its expanded versions, 4B-a and 4B-b, and eventually the 5B through 7B concepts, encourage women to support one another, save money, avoid brands that exploit them, and conserve their emotional energy for causes that truly matter.

The movement teaches women how to recognize who is truly on their side and who isn’t. This approach can foster self-love, gratitude, and the ability to see clearly when a good man comes along, or just as importantly, when one doesn’t.

I like to think of it as learning how to recognize real allies. In banks, employees don’t learn every trick to spotting counterfeit money; they’re simply trained to know the real thing so well that anything fake becomes obvious. Real currency looks, feels, and even smells different. It’s the same when learning to recognize a good partner—you don’t need to know every toxic trait; you just need to be so clear on what love, respect, and integrity look like that anything less is unmistakable.

For women exploring the 4B or even 7B Movement, this time can be an opportunity to refine what they’re looking for in a partner, a friend, or an ally. When we know what’s real, the fake becomes easy to spot, and we can build our lives around what truly supports and uplifts us.