Dating is one of those things that most people have done at one time or another. For many of us, dating was considered an exciting and fun thing to do, particularly when we were in high school or in our early 20’s. However, once we were of age, dating became obsolete because many of us married our high school or college sweetheart.
Fast forward twenty or so years. Perhaps we are divorced, lonely and living alone (or with our kids), so we start to consider dating again. But, exactly how does a mature man or woman, who had previously been married awhile, go about dating in this day and age? So much has changed since a Saturday night date at the movies with popcorn.
One of the first variations of dating you will notice is how people find each other in the first place. For instance, people used to find people to date in clubs, bars, churches, and other face-to-face social functions. However, these have now been replaced with Facebook, Tinder and other various social networking sites. And, let’s not forget about all of the commercial and ad space promoting all of these dating sites.
Good old-fashioned dating is a thing of the past, and online dating is the future. Online dating is more like buying a product, than meeting another human being and, because of all of this; you are going to have to rethink dating and relationships.
On a dating website, people are viewing dating prospects from a “consumer mindset”, therefore they’re treating profiles like a material commodity; “Give me this car, that phone, and one of those people.” It is extremely challenging to convey a tone, intent or an emotion when you are chatting with someone via a computer. It’s nearly impossible to appreciate what someone you just met online is saying, or what he or she means through an email, chat or instant message.
It is challenging enough to understand what someone you have known for a long time is saying in a text or email. Since a text or IM can be relative to the mood one is in, and therefore we have to text, IM, or email with caution so we don’t scare off a potential date. Think of it this way; what may appear to be a funny opening line to you can end up offending someone who is simply misreading you online. So we need to keep that in mind when we are trying to meet someone through a social network or online dating site.
Another thing to consider is that the man or woman we are connecting online with might not be representing themselves according to who they truly are. I cannot begin to tell you the countless men and women who go online, create an amazing dating profile, and pretend to be someone they’re not. For example, that “Mr. Fit”, outgoing and handsome young man, (or that bubbly woman with a great sense of humor who loves to hike), may turn out to be a 350 pound man named “Bubba” who has four kids, and is married to his first cousin. So, maybe we need to get a real photo from our online dating prospects, or try Skype or Face-Time to be sure they really are who they say they are before you go out with them or invest too much time.
Dating in this new age filled with technology may seem easy enough for teenagers and young adults. However, for those who have been married since the dawn of the home computer, who could appreciate the sound of a dial up modem sound, like while connecting to AOL, and happy when they heard those three little words, “You’ve Got Mail,” these people might have a difficult time adjusting to the new age of dating. Nevertheless, if you are lucky, you will meet someone who will feel the same way you do and that will just give you something to talk about while you are standing in line waiting to see a movie and getting your popcorn.
Collette Gee is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, a Violence Prevention Specialist and a Holistic Relationship Coach that helps men and women create and sustain healthy relationship patterns and behaviors. Visit findinghappily.com to Learn more about Collette Gee