Has your current relationship lost its luster? Or, have you found yourself in the midst of a dating dry spell? If so, it may be time to think about ways to step up your shine, and ignite your love life. Whether you are dating or in a committed relationship, below are 10 questions that will improve your love life.
The Top 10 Questions that Will Improve Your Love Life:
#1 Is having the same values important to you?
Most people do not think about the importance of values in a relationship until something bad happens. However, our values dictate our behaviors, letting us know the differences between right and wrong. If you are in a relationship with someone that does not share your values, chances are the relationship may suffer. And, if you’re dating prospects seem to lack the same integrity as you, it could be their values.
#2 Do you feel like sex is a priority in a relationship?
While sex is a very meaningful component to a healthy intimate relationship, it is not as important to everyone. For couples, life may get in the way, whereas sex is no longer a priority. However, this can be a problem if sex is very important to one partner but not the other. Also, when meeting someone new, and during the honeymoon phase, sex is extremely important. However, it’s important to gauge whether your new prospect wants you or just sex.
#3 Is being fiscally responsible a must?
Some people are simply bad with money, and there are a few reasons why: If you are a trust fund kid that never learned how to manage money. Or if you grew up poor and never learned how to manage money. In either case, if financial responsibility is a must, it’s important to ask. If you’re already in a relationship with someone financially irresponsible, find ways to talk to your partner about the value of money and why it is important to you.
#4 Is honesty a must?
Everyone does not value honesty in the same manner. Some people tell white lies, and think nothing of it. While other people withhold pertinent information. In either case, if honesty is a must, then ask your partner (or dating prospect) how they value honesty. Beware, if they do not value honesty, they may not be honest in their response. In that case you may have to dig deeper. Or you may have to learn how to read their body language to know when they are lying or being honest.
#5 Is cheating a deal breaker?
It is my experience that no one ever admits to being a cheater. Cheaters cheat for a variety of reasons. However, if you are newly dating I suggest watching movies to gauge how your new partner views cheating. If you are in a relationship with a cheater, is it a deal breaker? Meaning, is it the cheating you’re angry about or the deceit. Perhaps sex is not important to you so you are okay with cheating, but you want your partner to be honest about it. The most important thing to know is to understand how you look at cheating.
#6 Is having things in common a must?
Some couples like to spend all their time together. While other’s prefer to spend time doing certain things with their friends. Are you someone that prefers you and your partner be best friends. Or do you prefer to spend quality time doing some fun things with friends, and some things with your partner. So that the relationship does not go south, sort this out in the beginning if possible. Otherwise, you will wind up resenting your partners private time and see it as rejection.
#7 Which one do you value most: spontaneity or planning?
Are you one of those people that hates planning anything? Or are you the type of person that prefers to plan everything down to the very last detail? In either case, planners and non-planners can get along just fine so long as they can compromise. Still it’s important to know whether your partner is a planner or not so as not to project your way of doing things onto them. In either case there is nothing wrong with being either or. The key is compromise.
#8 Getting along with your partners family/friends?
Would it be a deal breaker if you do not get along well with your partners family or friends? For some people, the relationship would be over. Or at the very least, the relationship could take a turn for the worst. If you are newly dating and need to get along with your future partners family and friends, meet them as soon as possible. You can also ask a lot of questions about your partners family and friends to gauge how you might feel about them.
#9 Do you find it hard to forgive and let go of things?
One of the things that keeps couples from being happy is the inability to forgive transgressions. At the same time, if you find it hard to forgive and you meet someone new, you will carry those challenges into your new relationship. Forgiveness is key in a healthy relationship. Because, while we are all perfect beings, we do imperfect things. Therefore, learning how to forgive is essential. And, we do not necessarily forgive to release the other person from wrong doing. We forgive to free ourselves from the pain caused by the transgression. I talk a lot more about forgiveness in The Forgiveness Process Workbook. Order your copy by taping the link.
#10 Do you want a relationship so you do not feel lonely?
The worst thing you can do is enter into a new relationship or stay in an old relationship because you fear being alone. A relationship is something you commit to because you want to share your life with someone. But, also a relationship should make you feel good, not mediocre. Sticking with someone because you fear being alone is unhealthy. Instead learn how to be by yourself and enjoy your own company from time to time.
Share your experience
These 10 questions that will improve your love life are merely a guide to help you be clear about who you are going into a relationship, your values and learn who your partner is. However, I’d like to hear from you as to whether there are other questions you think are important. Also, what are your thoughts on the questions I asked? Have you had to ask these questions to yourself or others? Please share your response by emailing me at info@findinghappily.com.
