How to Find Your Happily

The one thing I considered when I decided to write a blog post series entitled, “101 Ways to Find Your Happily,” was how to define happiness? My belief is everyone wants to be happy. However, I think many of us fail to achieve real happiness because most of us are not willing to do what it takes to be happy. Perhaps it’s because most people don’t know what happiness is, or how to define happiness for that matter.

Some people believe that happiness comes from filling our days with fun things to do. While others think that happiness is the absence of negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. When it comes to defining happiness, I do not believe we can summarize happiness into a single concept.

For, happiness is not a particular place we can visit, an item we purchase or something, one can achieve when they get to where they are going. But, rather happiness is subjective and is directly related to an individual’s personal joy, contentment, and experiences; therefore each of us is responsible for creating our happiness.

A Helpful Tool to Help You Find Your Happily

Recently, I was out shopping for a new journal to give as a gift to one of my new clients when I came across this little book called Happiness Is… by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling. It’s a neat little journal that provides a place to record one happy thing each day over three years. Of course being the Finding Happily coach I had to buy it. I figured maybe the happy journals could make for a great alternate for the gratitude and forgiveness journals I usually give my clients.


The next morning I couldn’t wait to open up my new happiness journal. I figured writing down everything that made me happy would be a cinch, particularly because I already wrote down all the things I was grateful for each day in my gratitude journal. But, what I noticed when I opened up my cute little red happy book was that there was limited space available to record the things I was happy for, and instead only allowed space to record one happy thing. Hmm, I wondered. What to do, what to do?

It was simple; I would use my gratitude journal to record all the things I was grateful for in the morning, and use my new “Happiness Is…,” journal to record the one happy memory I had that day in the evening. Problem solved!

After one month of recording all the things I was happy and grateful for I began to see a pattern; a sort of shift not just in my mental focus, but in my overall physical being. I noticed I had a little more energy and that I was a bit more excited throughout my day. Mostly because instead of starting my day with all the things I had to feel grateful for, which is good, I also noticed that I was focusing all of my attention on all the good that was happening throughout my day. The happy journal had subconsciously, and in such a short amount of time, helped me shift my thinking.

Now, I am not saying that my days were mostly sad or depressing, or that I wasn’t happy before my “Happiness Is…” journal. Instead of having a day that would start out high because I began with the forgiveness process, my gratitude journal, prayer, and meditation but would then end up flat, my days consist of more happiness and joy solely because I focused my attention on finding more happy thoughts to record in my happiness journal in the evenings.

Why Finding Your Happily Is Important

So, why do people place so much emphasis on being happy? Is being happy all that important? Well, for starters, happiness elevates our moods from a low frequency to a high frequency which allows us to feel good about ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves, we are capable of doing more and accomplishing and achieving our goals. So, in essence, being happy affects our physiological conditions.

Being happy also affects us emotionally, as happiness is a positive emotion that drives our ambitions and is the driving force behind what wakes us up in the morning and gets out of bed. On the other hand, some people get up every day, but are too busy or running on autopilot to consider their happiness. And, it is this business that inspired me to write this blog and a series of blogs and videos that will follow.

To conclude, I realized that most people, myself included, go about their day with a checklist of things to do, places to see, and people to meet. However, the one thing many of us fail to include in our list is when to stop, when to be present and how to be happy. Happiness is a necessity. Though it is not enough to just think of one’s self as happy. We must have reason and purpose to be so. My hope for this blog  series that follow, and through my experiences, I can show you how to find your happily.  Be sure to check in every Friday for a new blog and video or even better sign up on the home page to get each video delivered to your email box.

Collette Gee is a Relationship Specialist, Coach and Matchmaker that helps men and women love harmoniously and successfully. Click Here To Learn more about Collette Gee.