You say that you want to be in a relationship, yet you fail to do anything that supports this desire. The longer you remain single yet see no visible reason why, the more you consider that you are single because you are sabotaging your love life.
Sabotaging your love life can be done without you even seeing it. For one thing, you may be selecting unsuitable prospects. It may be that you have Bad Boy Syndrome, which keeps you from ever choosing the most suitable partner for you. Do the guys you date all seem to mistreat you yet you continue to stay? It may be that you relinquish all the power in your relationship to every guy you get involved with, which means he determines how the relationship will unfold, and whether it will go anywhere at all. Maybe you zero in on guys that are emotionally available or not ready to be in a committed relationship. While these guys may seem exciting, unpredictable and phenomenal in bed, they are not going to stay with you, and you actually know that from the very start.
Another way that you may be sabotaging your relationships is by continuing to stay in bad relationships for too long. These are the relationships that you KNOW you should leave because you’re not getting what you deserve from them. And yet, instead of leaving you come up with all sorts of excuses as to why you continue to stay. You try to convince yourself that things will get better or that maybe he will change. But, love does not justify being unhappy. Yes, love is important, however a relationship cannot thrive on love alone. Things like respect, compatibility, honor and communication are just a few. When there is real love in a relationship, all of the rest will be there as well.
One of the biggest ways to sabotage your relationships is when you base your decisions from a place of fear. Rather than doing something because it is what you want, you do it because you feel you MUST. You’re afraid that if you do what your intuition is telling you to do that you will not have the relationship and life you truly want. You understand that by confronting things that upset you or make you unhappy, then you may have to make some hard decisions. So you clam up instead of speaking up. The important questions are avoided because youíre not sure you want to know the truth. That is why you bury your head in the sand rather than acknowledging all of the warning signs around you.
The most hindering aspect of your fear is that you’re actually the one that is afraid to commit to someone. Granted, commitment can be a rather scary thing because, after all, you’re pledging yourself to one man for the rest of your life. That is enough to scare anyone. However, the thing to remember is that when you find the man that offers you everything you want in a relationship, you will be more open to putting away the fear and opening yourself to commitment.
Collette Gee is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, a Violence Prevention Specialist and a Matchmaker, and Holistic Relationship Coach that helps men and women create and sustain healthy relationship patterns and behaviors. Learn more about Collette Gee
