Counterpoint: Why “Having a Boyfriend” Isn’t Embarrassing — It’s Human

After reading Vogue’s recent opinion piece, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?”  I felt compelled to respond.

This so-called “trend” of finding having a boyfriend embarrassing is, quite frankly, a lame attempt at reaffirming the 1970s version of the “liberated woman.” That same movement led many women to pursue independence at all costs — only to find themselves decades later with no husband, no kids, and no meaningful family life. Some ended up with empty careers that may or may not even exist today.

This new narrative doesn’t empower women; it isolates them. And isolation, as we know, has become both a sociological and psychological pandemic.

Sure, women taking this stance might say, “I don’t need a man — I have my pet, my friends, my family.” And yes, that’s true to an extent. But no woman is an island. Humans are not designed to exist entirely alone. While these women may not say they’re lonely — and yes, you can be lonely in a relationship — following this trend will only lead to deeper emotional disconnection.

They might argue, “I’m not isolated. I’m not alone.” Maybe not technically, but biologically and emotionally, we are built to connect — to bond, to be intimate, to love and be loved.

Perhaps this movement is less about mockery and more about self-preservation. Maybe some women are subconsciously protecting themselves from disappointment or trauma — a kind of emotional armor born from fear. Considering the current landscape, especially in America, that’s understandable. With so many cultural challenges and the ongoing battle against patriarchy, it’s easy to see why some women feel safer rejecting the idea of partnership altogether.

But it might also be a kind of punishment — a standoff. A silent war between the sexes: If you won’t change, then I won’t engage. Let’s see who holds out longer.

Or maybe, for some, it’s a preemptive strike against women who are happily coupled — a way to say, “If I act like it doesn’t matter, then it won’t hurt.” Pretend is the key word.

For those ready to attract a healthy, meaningful relationship, I recently revisited one of my most popular posts — How to Manifest Your Soulmate and Call in the One.

It’s a gentle reminder that love isn’t luck — it’s intention, courage, and emotional growth.

Instead of normalizing detachment, perhaps we should normalize wanting love — not just a “boyfriend,” but a healthy, meaningful, emotionally fulfilling relationship. There’s no shame in wanting that.

To the women who are happily coupled, married, or dating — don’t let anyone make you feel small for that. This new form of shame is no different from body-shaming — whether fat or thin. I’ve been on the receiving end of that kind of judgment, and it’s cruel either way.

Women may not realize it, but we’re often the biggest proponents of patriarchy ourselves — censoring and shaming each other into conformity. It’s time to stop.

Let the women with boyfriends be happy. Let the women without them be happy too.

And above all, let’s stop judging each other for the choices that make us feel fulfilled.