5 Reasons Why Bad Dating Advice Is Not Helping You — Includes Video

Some of you have these long check lists of “must haves,” hoping, wishing and praying for someone to show up with all the things you ask for. 

But, if someone happens to show up with some of the things you’re looking for, but they fall short of meeting all ofyour expectations, you get angry and upset.   And, that’s when you tend to to seek out bad dating advice for the answers to your dating woes.

In this article I am going to be sharing 5 reasons why bad dating advice is not helping you.

Not long ago I was direct messaging, back and forth, with a woman on Instagram.  We were chatting about a particular dating guru. I asked her what she thought the appeal was for others towards this self-appointed “guru.”

According to this woman, she believed that most women did not want to hear the truth about why they were struggling in their love life.  Further, she said, they certainly did not want to hear the truth from another women like myself.  She went on to say that women preferred to take dating advice from people they don’t feel threatened by, or jealous of.  “No one,” she said, “wants to take advice from someone that will make them feel bad about their life, even if what is being shared is the truth.” 

Although what she shared made me feel disheartened, I appreciated her point of view.  She admitted to watching my videos and following my posts.  Yet, she also stated that she simply was not ready to make the changes, nor take the advice I was sharing — even though she believed that what I was sharing was the truth. 

Although I could not fully understand how she felt, I could somewhat relate. Because at one time, I too was in a similar space in my life – looking for the answer in everyone and everywhere, but not seeing that the answer was me and was within me. 

I share a lot of details about these struggles I had in my book, “Finding Happily No Rules, No Frogs and No Pretending.”  

I learned that for many of us, the truth is a hard pill to swallow.  However, the truth makes everything much better once we take a good healthy dose of it.  The truth is healing.  The truth will set you free.

Similar to the first reason, most people prefer to take dating advice from someone that validates their story, rather than challenges their belief in their story. 

If the story you have about “why you are not meeting anyone,” or “why you cannot find love” is true like gravity, then deal with it.  But, instead of telling the story and living under the story, find a way to look at the story as an event in time, rather than your permanent circumstance.    On the other hand, if your story is not true (and thus is harming you rather than helping you) release it and let it go!

In my Find Your Happily Online Courses, I show you how to evaluate and change your story, listen to your internal dialogue and release negative thought patterns and behaviors that are stopping you from attracting your soulmate. 

Some people find it easier to blame everyone and everything for their failed relationships, rather than take personal responsibility for their own love life.  These individuals say things like, “I cannot find love because there are no good men,” or “I cannot find love because all the women I meet only want to date guys with lots of money.” 

Many years ago, when I was single and dating, I remember being in a dating rut and blaming everyone for my failed relationships, including GOD.  Finally, I had to look at the common denominator to my failed relationships — which was me. I realized that taking dating advice from people that allowed me to avoid taking responsibility for my love life was not truly serving me. 

I talk a great deal about the day I discovered my own power and worth in my book, “Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, & No Pretending,” and how I was able to stop blaming and claim the love I always desired.

When I was single and dating, I used to visit and listen to dating gurus like Pat Allen, Matthew Hussey and Steve Harvey.  While I can agree, that at times they did offer some solid and sound advice, most of what they shared was entertaining — not a real solution to my real problems. 

I quickly came to appreciate that dating gurus were not my dating heroes.  They were actually mere entertainers that made more money keeping me single and alone, than actually helping me find the love of my life. 

In my book, “Finding Happily . . . No Rules, No Frogs and No Pretending,” I wrote an entire chapter about the harm that dating guru’s and dating guides actually cause many women and men. 

I learned that good dating advice was advice that would take me off the dating market and help me find that special someone.  However, similar to dating apps and online dating sites, dating gurus seek to keep you entertained and keep you paying them — NOT helping you live your best life with the one you love.

My last and final reason why bad dating advice is not helping you is because it leads you to come up with a checklist filled with unrealistic expectations.  Like I mentioned in the beginning, many of you might be looking for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, but you yourself fail to measure up to this unrealistic qualification you seek in potential romantic partners.  You want someone that is perfect, but you yourself lack the perfection you seek.  Instead of working on your own flaws, or improving the qualities within you, you seek bad dating advice that takes you further and further from the love of your life.  You try to comfort yourself in these false and unrealistic expectations — so you can blame “all those men,” or “all those women” out there who fall short of your imaginary wish list. Are you ready to grow up?

Many of the clients that come to me for help do so because they are sick and tired of bad dating advice.  The videos, blogs, and resources I share are all solutions-based, and not primarily “entertaining.”  My life mission is to help women and men create and sustain meaningful, happy, healthy relationships.  My mission is not to become an “entertainment personality,” or some celebrity that focuses on getting social media views, likes or follows.  I am all about helping people reveal the truth and come up with solutions that actually help them get the love they so much deserve.  And, while my approach is not popular, entertaining, or sexy, it’s effective. 

Want to learn about how you may be getting in your own way of finding true love or, (more importantly) how to get out of your own way?  Sign up now for the popular free webinar I have called, “5 Common Dating Mistakes (& How to Fix Them).

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I love hearing from all of you and receiving your emails, so please do share your stories.  Also, if you have an any tips or advice that I did not share, feel free to email it to me at info@findinghappily.com.