How to Deal With A Stalker – Part 2

How To Protect Yourself Against A Stalker

Deal With A Stalker - Part 2

Stalking has become a high criminal offense and, the number of stalking reports continues to rise. Some people blame the increase in stalking on the Internet. However, stalking was an issue long before people had personal computers in their homes. In the previous article I showed you how to deal with a stalker.  In this article I will show you how to protect yourself against a stalker.  If you haven’t done so already, call the your local law enforcement agency if you think you are being stalked.  However so that you have additional resources here are some tips on how to deal with a stalker:

 

Step 1

The most important step you can take is to record all of your stalking incidents.  You can use a journal, note pad, your mobile device or your personal computer. The key is to write everything down!   The reason is because the more details you have when you go to the police, the better chance you will have at building a case against your stalker. Without documentation, stalking is a case of he said she said. However, if you record where the stalking took place, what your stalker did, when it happened, and how it made you feel, you can show a pattern of your stalkers behaviors.

You don’t need to tell your stalker that you are keeping a log of them. Just make sure to write down any details you think the police might need to help your cause. Some of these things might include identifying your stalkers license plate numbers, what they are wearing, saved emails, voice messages, call logs and other pertinent details the police might need. It’s almost as if you have to become a detective on your own case. If you can, get a picture of your stalker. Most mobile phones have cameras on them so if you can, and without being seen, use your mobile device to catch your stalker in the act.

 

Step 2

The next thing you can do to protect yourself against a stalker is to tell everyone you know. When you’re dealing with a stalker you might feel ashamed or embarrassed. It’s very common to first blame yourself for being stalked. However, it is not your fault. Stalkers are all about exerting their power and control over others. Thus the more isolated you are, the more control you give your stalker. There is nothing for you to feel ashamed of. Your stalker is the one with the issue. Therefore, in addition to recording the stalking incidents, tell a close friend, family member, or someone at your work place, what is happening. If you have a security person on site where you work or live, be sure to report the stalker to them. Tell everyone you know and trust what is happening. You might even resort to social media to report who your stalker is and what they are doing.

A stalker can be anyone you know, including an intimate partner, family, friend or a co-worker; a stalker can also be a stranger. Consequently, it’s much easier for law enforcement to deal with a stalker that has no relation to you than it is someone you know. However, by keeping a log of the stalking incidents,  you increase the chances of having your stalker brought to justice.

 

Step 3

While stalking incidents are not always ones that end in violence, many stalkers escalate, particularly when they are losing power and control over their victim. That said, the third thing I recommend is taking a self-defense class. Learning how to physically defend yourself  is one of the most liberating things you can do to protect yourself against a stalker. While a physical altercation is the last thing you want to happen between you and your stalker, you want to be able to defend yourself should your stalker escalate and become physically violent. You do not need to hire a private instructor to teach you how to defend yourself, though you may. There are plenty of FREE self-defense classes available through non-profit organizations or law enforcement agencies for people who have been physically or sexually assaulted, and or stalked.

 

Step 4

Another thing you can do to protect yourself against a stalker is purchase security for your home or vehicle.   This might come in the way of: a home or car alarm, surveillance cameras, a dog, and or depending where you live a gun. As a free individual you have a right to protect and defend yourself against harm and violence. Thus, getting extra security is a deterrent against stalking. While stalking is not your fault, crimes of opportunity are less likely when you have protection. This does not mean that you should become a vigilantly and or shoot or stalk your stalker. Contrarily, by stalking you your stalker has already crossed the line, therefore you need to do whatever it takes to set up physical boundaries to protect and defend yourself if need be.

 

Step 5

The last and final thing you can do to protect yourself against a stalker is to use your instincts. While stalkers are perfect at hiding their stalking tendencies, there are still some warning signs. Granted, in the event there are no signs, trust your instincts.  Stalkers aren’t always overt in their stalking. In fact most stalkers are very discreet, and can stalk you for years without you ever knowing.  In most cases the first sign that you are being stalked comes from your gut instinct. You can tell that something is off or you have a feeling that something isn’t right.  Stalkers usually get the upper hand because their victims are distracted. However, being more present and observing  your environment you can get ahead of a stalker.

 

Getting Help:

While stalking is not your fault, this list can help you minimize being a victim of stalking.  Also, with stalking on the rise, there are several agencies that protect and provide resources for victims of stalking. Depending on where you live help might be through your local law enforcement agency or through a non-profit organization that specializes in violence prevention.

 

Collette Gee is an International Dating and Relationship Expert, and the Author of “Finding Happily, No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.” Collette works with men and women, helping them to create and sustain healthy, and meaningful romantic relationships. Click Here to Learn More

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2018-07-27T09:35:00+00:00July 23rd, 2018|Domestic Violence/Abuse|