Let’s face it, breaking up is never going to be easy, but holiday break ups are the worst! For instance, birthdays are a TERRIBLE time to break up with someone. So if you know that you’re going to end a relationship, please do so well BEFORE their birthday or well AFTER it. If you choose to break up the day before, of, or the day after someone’s birthday, it could cause that person to feel down around their birthday or worse remind them that their relationship ended because of you. So, if you can manage, time the break up so that there is a decent amount of time on either side of his/her birthday, and never, ever make it on the birthday itself.
Another awful break up day is Valentine’s Day. This is the day for lovers and couples to celebrate every year. If you decide to end your relationship on this day, you run the risk of ruining Valentine’s Day for that person for a very long time, if not forever.
While breaking up is hard to do you know when things just aren’t working out anymore. People who’ve experienced a sudden breakup during the holidays for example always assume the break up wasn’t planned, and therefore begin to question whether the breakup was caused by some recent event caused by something they did or said. However, holiday break ups are rarely ever sudden and in fact are something that have been well thought out, if not even orchestrated by the person doing the breaking up. If you’re the one whose doing the breaking up you can, at the very least, time the break up for a day that isn’t tied in with something as significant or meaningful to either of you.
Holidays should never be used to end a relationship for many reasons. The most obvious reason is because breaking up on a particular holiday with someone you once cared about may never be as enjoyable for them, especially if the break up is pretty bad, and let’s face it what break up isn’t.
Another reason is that some people tend to buy expensive and extravagant gifts during the holidays. If you end your relationship prior to the holidays, you can save both you and your about to be ex-partner a lot of money since it’s likely that neither of you is likely to purchase a gift for the other after a break up. In addition, the holidays just turn into a very sad occasion when a relationship ends during those times. This is true of the days immediately before and or after.
The basic rule of thumb is to get your break up out of the way as far ahead of any special day as possible. You once cared about this person, or perhaps even loved them, so at the very least make the break up process as easy on them as you can. If you can’t do that, then you should try to grin and bear it through the special day and wait at least a couple of weeks afterward before making the big break. In this way, you’re saving someone a lot of misery that could follow them well into the future. The exception to this break up rule is if you’re in an abusive relationship or if cheating has occurred.
Collette Gee is a Relationship and Violence Prevention Specialist and the author of an innovative book on relationships called, “Finding Happily…No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending,” (available on Amazon). Through workshops, coaching programs and services, Collette provides a positive and educational approach about healthy relationships. Her passion for social justice and healthy relationships has given her a powerful foundation to spread her message; “Finding Happily is not an ending, it is a journey.” Her mission is to teach men and women how to live successfully and harmoniously.
This article was originally published on Huffington Post, and published here with the author, Collette Gee’s permission.