Commitment can be one of the scariest things that many men face in their lives. Everything is great as long as their girlfriends don’t expect them to totally commit to them, and only them. There’s just something about saying to someone that you’ll only be with them from now until forever that strikes terror in the hearts of a lot of guys. It’s because of this that it can be challenging for some women to know if their boyfriends are fully committed to them. Bringing up the subject of commitment can send guys running for the hills. So the question becomes is he really committed to you or not?
Looking at the way your guy reacts when you mention things such as weddings of friends or relatives will give you a big clue as to how he feels about permanent commitment. If he turns pale and sweaty, you’ve probably have a man on your hands that would rather throw himself off of a Hawaiian cliff than to make a commitment or get married. It’s also likely that he will avoid the subject like the plague. You may even notice lots of subject changing whenever you bring up the topic.
Take a cue from the reactions you get as to whether or not you should simply sit him down and have a long honest heart to heart talk about where the relationship is going. If you get the feeling that he may become less interested in even being in a relationship if the subject is nailed down, you may want to put off bringing it up. This may be a difficult thing to do, especially if you’re ready for a full blown commitment and he doesn’t seem to be. However, it is important that you respect each others boundaries and pace within the relationship.
Another thing to notice is how he is around children, babies in particular. If he isn’t interested in children, or having children, chances are good that he’s not close to committing to you, nor anyone else. Babies tend to frighten men who aren’t particularly interested in a commitment because they see babies as the final nail in the coffin of entrapment. They see babies as a true responsibility and it means a life long commitment.
While guys may not be interested in marriage, they may be amenable to moving in together. However, if they feel that you’ll take this to mean that they’re committed to you, or that you’re expecting marriage, moving in together won’t be an option. For most people, particularly women, moving in with someone means that the relationship is being taken to the next level, that level being one where a commitment is involved. If they feel as if you’re going to expect more from them with a live in situation, they’ll probably pass on it and insist that your relationship is more exciting when you each have your own places to call home.
These are just a few ways of tell how your guy feels about commitment. If he loves talking about weddings, loves babies, and cannot wait to move in with you, then you’ve got yourself a commitment in the making. On the other hand, if he’s not interested in any of these things, and isn’t looking for a full blown commitment, and you are, then end the relationship and make yourself available to someone who is on the same page as you are.
Collette Gee is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, a Violence Prevention Specialist and a Matchmaker, and Holistic Relationship Coach that helps men and women create and sustain healthy relationship patterns and behaviors. Learn more about Collette Gee