There is nothing new when it comes to lewd conduct within the NFL — be it drug abuse, domestic violence or inappropriate relationships. However, as the story about Chris Foester (offensive line coach for the Miami Dolphins) and Kijuana Nige (a Nevada model, originally from Kansas City) develops, there are questions raised. People want to know whether Chris Foester inappropriately “took a knee” for Kijuana Nige, yet failed to take a knee where it really mattered — for African Americans’ civil and human rights.
According to Sports Illustrated, a video was released this past Sunday of Chris Foerster snorting a “white substance.”
(Warning Video contains graphic content.)
Apparently, Kijuana Nige, the woman responsible for leaking the video on Facebook, stated that she posted the video because of the backlash she witnessed against black NFL players who took a knee during the American national anthem in protest against police brutality towards African Americans. However, it appears that Nige’s political stance may have backfired on her.
While Nige’s claim for releasing this story was to reveal the league’s intolerance against those who choose to peacefully protest, in contrast of their tolerance for Chris Foerster, many believe that Nige is nothing more than a “racist gold-digging whore” who’s after his money. Perhaps true; perhaps false. Nevertheless, the more important question here is not necessarily the motive behind why Nige posted this video. But more so, the relationship between Foerster and Nige and the misconduct each of them did leading up to the release of the video.
Now, obviously there is nothing wrong with Chris Foerster “taking a knee” or getting down on his knees for Kijuana, if in fact, he was unmarried when he did so. However, there is something very wrong, “on both Sides,” with either of them snorting cocaine, and/or “a white substance.” And in Foerster’s case, videoing himself engaged in illicit drug use, and then Nige sharing this over the Internet.
Most people are suggesting that Foerster will not face any real consequences for his behavior, and at worst he will come out of this with nothing but a slap on the wrist following a public apology and a year or so in rehab for his transgressions. While no one knows for sure what the outcome will be for either Chris or Kijuana, there are some real victims involved that we can assume neither of these individuals bothered to consider: The family of Chris Foester and Black women in general.
When an affair happens, particularly a high-profile affair such as the one between Chris Foerster and Kujuana Nige, many people fail to care about the backlash that takes a toll on the family. According to one report, “Foerster was married as of 2010, according to a family member’s obituary. It is not clear if he is still married, or if he was married when the video was recorded. He has three children, two sons and a daughter.” But, regardless of his marital status at the time of Foerster’s and Nige’s relations, Foerster’s marital relationship will now be placed in the public eye. Let’s face it, the media is not going to be sensitive about the news they publish, nor how it affects the family, including the children.
On the other spectrum Nige’s profession, morals and motive for releasing this story have all been called into question. It is not only she that will have to answer for her misconduct, but rather, the entire Black female population is maligned. Consider this: For every Black male or female that commits a crime or that publicly behaves immorally, ALL Black people somehow bear the brunt of the blame, whether the act was conducted by “A lone-wolf,” or not. So in this story, it will not matter that Nige acted alone or released her story for her own motives—ALL Black women are likely to receive the same harsh criticism as that of Nige’s. We ALL are implicated as “drug using gold diggers,” and “sexually promiscuous home-wreckers.” Do we really need that bad press now?
To conclude, there is a solution here. One that each of us can consider as more about this story unfolds. We should be mindful of the family, friends and loved ones of Chris Foerster’s family as they deal with his addiction and his possible affair. Regarding Kijuana, before we judge her so harshly we can keep in mind that it “takes two to tango.”
As a Relationship Specialist, It is apparent to me that each of these individuals have to begin to do some work on the relationship that they have with themselves, and how they conduct relationships with others. Perhaps if Chris and Kijuana were in a healthy state of mind and well-being, neither of them would have wound up with this private affair that became a very public matter. Now, that it is public, it affects us all—especially by reinforcing the already negative perception of Black women. This is not the kind of “taking a knee” that we need right now as Black women in America.
Collette Gee is a Relationship Specialist, Author and Speaker that helps men and women create and sustain healthy relationships. Learn More About Collette